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Why it’s so important

After many years of posting hundreds of blog posts, if I had to pick out the most important one that I have ever written or will ever write, it would be the one that you are about to read. Please stay with me until the very end


What would your answer be if someone asked you what would be the most important subject to discuss in today’s America? The one subject that would turn your stomach in knots, bring a state of uncontrollable anxiety and initiate a relentless chilling sweat that would force you to flee the scene to God only knows where.

In my opinion, backed up by decades of deep connection between men and women of all ages, I would say it would be a discussion concerning the “centuries-old” misunderstanding between the equality of men and women. A topic brought to the attention of the sexes worldwide by the 1992 book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.“, written by American author and relationship counselor John Grey. The book states that the most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes, which the author exemplifies by means of its eponymous metaphor: that men and women are from distinct planets. And therefore each sex is acclimated to its own planet’s society and customs, but not to those of the other. Why it would take 286 pages to make his point is beyond me.

Obviously, he wasn’t a hairdresser. 

John Steinbeck put it this way;

It is my considered opinion that the hairdresser is the most influential person in any community. When the public goes to a hairdresser, something happens to them. They feel safe, and they relax. The hairdresser knows what their skin is like under the makeup; they know their age; they don’t have to keep up any type of pretense. People tell a hairdresser things they wouldn’t dare confess to a priest and they are open about matters they try to conceal from a doctor. When people place their secret lives in the hairdresser’s hands, the hairdresser gains an authority few other people attain. I have heard hairdressers quoted with complete conviction on art, literature, politics, economics, child care, and morals. I tell you that a clever, thoughtful, ambitious hairdresser wields a power beyond the comprehension of most people…

My point is this. A person who can initiate and attest to the authenticity of a subject as sensitive as this one must be prolific, convincing, and reassuring, but they need powerful and truthful examples to “back it up.”

When I first read Steinbecks quote a few years ago, it immediately grabbed my attention. It was a very profound assessment concerning the depth of the hairdresser-client relationship. I wondered how he could have even that in such detail because everything he said, in accordance with my personal experiences, was without question. 

There is no other industry that provides an atmosphere for such a deep connection between a woman and her hairdresser. One that allows for the gender connection of equality between a man and a woman.

Throughout the years I have discovered that the only “verifiable” difference between men and women is body parts. We’re equals, we’re just different. The few differences I have witnessed aren’t even worth discussing. We both want the same things in life;

* To be able to love and be loved unconditionally

* To know that someone really cares about us

* To be able to show our nurturing side 

* To get an unexpected gift at an unexpected time

* To have someone to share our deepest emotions

* Someone who will accept us just the way we are 

* Someone that we can grow old together with 

* Someone to share all of the beauty life has to offer despite the unavoidable circumstances 

Both men and women want someone who;

*Is Honest

* Is Confident

 *Has standards

 *Is Authentic

 *Has their own opinions

 *Is a good listener

 *Uses a direct approach to things

 *Makes them feel wanted

 *Understands boundaries

  *Respects time alone 

   *Has a good sense of humor

The real connection between men and women can be found somewhere within the spectrum of the human condition. 

This is not a link reserved for only a client-hairdresser relationship, it’s available to everyone who wishes to allow someone into their life without judgmental restrictions. 

I can only hope that this message, if even in a small way, will bring about the realization to both men and women, that despite our differences, deep down, our hearts and divine wisdom tell us we are but one person — we’re only different in a most “wonderful way.” We must surrender our differences to God and work diligently to instill this spirit of gender connection within the minds of our children. For there is no greater gift that is worth leaving behind for them than the gift of oneness with God and one another.  

This dream I have had over the many years has brought me to realize that only with the help of women, can it reach its rightful place in the world of insightful, knowledgeable, perceptive discussion.

This glorious world of being a hairdresser that I have lived in for many years has given me countless opportunities and the fulfillment to mentor and teach young people of both genders that the future of their country rests entirely on their shoulders. In too many cases we just aren’t giving them the knowledge or foresight to equip them to become the leaders that we so desperately need. I know if we do, they will get the job done! We must never lose faith in them, because they need to “see” that we haven’t given up on them.  It is quite obvious we have given up on ourselves, but we must never give up on God, our younger generations, or our country. 

  I realize that bringing this very important discussion to the table comes with great risk.

One that I am willing to take. I figure someone has to do it. Why not me? Don’t ever underestimate to power of gender equality, because as men and women, it’s our responsibility to protect, honor, respect, and accept our differences. We cannot under any circumstances, allow them to undo all that is good and righteous in the face of the certain extinction of not sharing the things that are right, virtuous, and worth preserving.  It has been said that opposites attract, but research shows that to be contradictory. 

The verdict: 

Women are the emotional leaders in relationships. So, if a woman is dedicated to lasting love, it’s essential to master these abilities while at the same time realizing some things just can’t be taught or changed.

Thus, women should try to become, even in the face of fear of discussion, the creators of a love connection and equality among genders and communities. That will make it easier to figure out what makes a man fall in love with a woman in the first place. True love only needs one thing: belief. We can no longer hide or hesitate from this moment of truth without swift, deliberate, and decisive action taken together. 

If you would like to participate in this “new awakening”, this “Great Reboot” in any way, I would encourage you to subscribe to all or any part of what Sparkamericausa has to offer.

You can also connect with me at, friend me on FB, or respond directly to me at [email protected]

“Together we can write a new chapter in American History. One that will show the effort by all men and women to keep our country the greatest the world has ever seen, and that our renewed spirit will be the beacon of love, hope, peace, and equality, for all humanity.  

Blessing my dear friends,


1 Comment

  • Naomi
    Posted August 21, 2023

    Well ………… I can attest to the truth of this post! During my fifty years as a hairdresser, I worked along side of men and women, and serviced men and women. We are more alike than different, except for those body parts! We worked to achieve the same goals and we had the same issues at home, work and play! I do think that hairdressers have unofficial degrees in psychology, political science, theology, parenting, social work and many others! We are trusted and many times are sworn to secrecy. As women, we have unconditional love and men are drawn to that. But as humans we are all equally responsible for sharing the successes and failures that we have experienced. What we learned in the salon cannot be taught from a book! The script was written as we lived our lives. May we all have one true and everlasting love in our lives. May that love grow and spread throughout our many encounters ❤️

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